Week 1, Day 7

Last night, I set my alarm for this morning because I felt the urgency to go swim. This morning, when my alarm went off, I turned it off and made the decision to let my muscles rest. My concern that I will not go back after a break has gone away and tomorrow morning can't come fast enough! I am so anxious to get back in the water. Come Wednesday, I'll have something to give me a little bit of help in the kicking department. I had some of these when I swam with my team, but they ripped.

These are called, "zoomers". They really do help strengthen your legs while giving you some extra speed. This will help me a ton since I am primarily upper body strength. My old ones were blue. I much prefer blue over the yellow. Can you say, "quack, quack!" Yes, I do believe I will look like a duck in these. Thankfully, you only wear them in the water :)

During my day off today, I decided to go ahead and drink a protein smoothie. I wasn't sure whether to drink one on work-out days or not, but I think I can plan to use this as a meal replacement. When I previously figured calorie content for my smoothie, I had forgotten to include the calorie count for the banana. With the banana, my smoothies are about 300 calories. Previously, I calculated that my smoothies were only 172 calories and was concerned that wouldn't be enough for a meal replacement. Not so worried now :) And honestly, I'm not quite sure how to figure how many calories I should have per day in order to lose weight. It would be nice to meet with a nutritionist or at least talk to someone who knows.

So, the above are my smoothie ingredients and here is my recipe:
8oz almond milk
1 scoop of protein powder (contains 18g of protein...not a lot, but it will do)
1 tbsp of powdered peanut butter
1 banana
1 cup of ice

I need to find other smoothie recipes. I do have a couple of other flavors of protein powders (vanilla and strawberry) and some frozen fruit I could add. Truly, I need a better blender eventually. Not sure the one I have will survive daily use; it's already sounding a little rough.

My jeans fit a bit better today. Pretty excited about that! Small victories. They would have fit better if I had made better food choices this week, but next week is when I integrate the better food choices. Baby steps.

Time to finish packing my bag for tomorrow morning, get the kids in bed, and crash.

Week 1, Day 6

Today, I probably should have stayed in bed and rested, but I am glad I went ahead and pushed myself because my muscles are in sheer agony! Yes, I like to feel my muscles aching, but only if it's due to a good work-out. I barely managed my swim, however. I'm sure the lifeguard probably thought they were going to have to jump in at some point and rescue me! Still, I completed 5 sets of 200 yds.

Tomorrow, I definitely plan to stay away from the gym. Hopefully, it will be nice enough to go for a walk with the family. My reasoning behind going to the gym this morning was fear that if I took a break, I might not go back. Well, I think I'm hooked now, so I don't anticipate that being a problem. As of right now, I'm anxious to get back into the pool and I'm hoping that after tomorrow, I will be even more anxious.

I realize not many (if anyone) reads these posts, but I'm hoping it will be a good journal of sorts to come back to when I've reached my goals. If anyone does read them, I hope it will encourage you to not give-up and to start TODAY on the future and better you. If you're afraid of the scale, like me, don't step on it. Just focus on the changes your body makes rather than obsessing over a number...that's all it is...a number! Looking and feeling better does not need to be tied to a number.

Have a great Saturday!

Week 1, Day 5

I woke-up at 3:30am, initially, but forced myself back to sleep and woke again at 4:15am (15 minutes before my alarm). Pretty proud of myself. I pushed myself to do 5 x 200. It wasn't pretty, but I did it. By the last 25 of each set, my arms felt like they weighed as much as an elephant.

I was asked yesterday when I am going to start weighing myself. I hate the scale, so I think I will wait to weigh until I start noticing a difference in my appearance.

Debating on going to swim tomorrow morning. Worried I'll lose momentum if I give myself a break, but I don't want to burn-out either.

Time for coffee with my honey. Good day, everyone.

Joshua's Appointment Yesterday

After dropping off the girls with my parents yesterday, we headed to Joshua's appointment in a rather sketchy part of town. We checked in and made our way to the "Behavioral Health" department. Behavioral Health... Those words are now part of our family vocabulary and it's a little difficult to swallow. Quite honestly, I always thought behavioral health was regarding people who are mentally insane. Yes, I know I am uneducated about some things (aren't we all), but my understanding of behavioral health is changing very quickly.

The first part of the appointment was meeting with Joshua's Autism Care Coordinator, Leah. She's super sweet; very encouraging and reassuring. She set-up referrals for Occupational Therapy and Social Skills Therapy. Unfortunately, she also explained that CHP+ only pays for up to 20 visit a year for each therapy. She has encouraged us to look into the exchanges once those come available so that Joshua can qualify for MUCH more autism benefits (in addition to the two therapies he will be receiving). Apparently, the new autism benefits (Health Insurance Mandated Autism Treatments, or HIMAT) that are federally regulated did not get extended to CHP+ or Medicaid...? Make sense to anyone else? Good grief. This link is what we need to get informed on. I can see why switching to one of the exchanges would be good for Joshua, but we also have to consider Jenna's needs and whether or not they would be good for her, or do we/can we switch one and not the other? It's all so overwhelming and confusing. Plus, the exchanges come at a cost and we are already stretched thin. Praying we find a good group of people to help us wade thru this mess of information. My circuits are fried and we aren't even in the thick of it yet.

Joshua's appointment lasted approximately 2 hours. The majority of the appointment was spent sitting with the specialist and discussing Joshua's milestones and family medical history. This was followed by a brief exam (which she observed that Joshua's head is in the 98th percentile...lots of brain in that noggin) and then lab draws. Lab draws. Some might wonder why in the world you would need to draw blood for autism. Well, apparently, sometimes (not all of the time and not very often) autism can be a result of an underlying illness or disorder. They felt that with Jenna's medical issues that it was a very good idea to check things out, so they are running for basic things like organ function, iron levels, etc. to a panel of genetic tests. Poor Joshua has never had blood drawn before and it was quite traumatizing for him. I am so thankful Nick was there to help. I stayed in the lab waiting area while Nick went in with him. You could Joshua hollering and crying. He was so scared to go in that his little body stiffened and tensed up.

We should have some results in a few days, but the genetic results will take several weeks. We're use to waiting for genetic lab results and half way anticipating what they will say, but not with our healthy baby. We're hoping nothing shows-up. Autism? Fine. Genetic disorder? Please no. Either way, we know that God will guide, uplift, encourage and provide. He already has and does in so many ways. I'm so thankful for the prayer support our family receives. PLEASE DON'T STOP anytime soon.

Week 1, Day 4

Today, my body woke itself up before the alarm again, but this time it was 4:00am instead of 3:00am. One hour can make a HUGE difference, but this morning, I did not want to get up. Yesterday was draining. I'll explain why in another post. I managed to do 6 sets of 150 and a 100 cool down again, but it was much harder today than in days past. Still, I pushed myself more in some of the sets than in others. It felt good to push myself and it also felt good to be the best swimmer in the pool. I won't lie... It felt awesome to zoom past the guys in the lanes on either side of me. Both of them thinking they're hot shots and then the fat girl in the middle (me) smoked 'em! Okay... Time to lay the ego aside. The other day, there was a girl much better than me, but I was 2nd. Okay... Stop it! I get a little too competitive at times. Time to chill.

Week 1, Day 3

3:00am. That's a normal time to be up, right? I didn't do this on purpose. My alarm was set for 5:00am. I tried my best to roll over and go back asleep, but my body wasn't going to have any part in that. So what to do? Hop on Facebook and find some of your girlfriends also awake to chat with and then just go ahead and get up. I was at the rec center before opening (5:00am) and in the pool at 5:05am. Honestly, it felt great. My body is having some major adrenaline and my stamina was once again on the rise. I managed to do 6 set of 150 and a 100 cool down (as opposed to 10 sets of 100, previously). Still keeping the yardage at 1,000 yards for now, but I plan on possibly upping that next week. I don't want to throw my body into shock. I want to keep it fun while also getting the exercise I need. When it's no longer fun, I throw in the towel. MUST. KEEP. IT. FUN.

So, I am just really appreciating the staff at the rec center. The lifeguards are so engaging, kind, and encouraging. So impressed! I have not felt this comfortable in a bathing suit since I was 12% body fat (yes, that was me at one time). But seriously, fat girls do not like being in bathing suits in public. Maybe I am just speaking for myself. If you're fat like me and you don't have this problem, I envy you!

I contemplated making a separate blog for my weight loss endeavors, but I am part of my family, so I decided to keep it here. If you'd rather read past these posts, I will make it easy for you... The title post will always be where I am at in terms of the length/date/etc.

P.S. Big day for Joshua today. Prayers appreciated!

Can I Cry?

I just got off the phone with Jenna's pediatric chronic care coordinator. You need one of those when you have a chronic kiddo. It's the one and only thing I love about Kaiser. So, Mary Kay (she's super cute and from the North, so super thick accent) is getting Jenna hooked-up again with specialists we have had on the back burner due to various things like...having another baby. You know, little things like that.

So, specialists Jenna will be seeing in the next couple of months:

• Orthopedist (for her poor little caving ankles)
• Cleft Team (includes dental, oral surgery, etc.)
• Opthalmology
• Speech
• Endocrinology
• GI
• Neurology (her seizures aren't flaring, but her floppiness on her left side is a concern)

We will be adding therapy for Joshua as well...occupational and social.

I'm weary, tired, worn, and ragged. I know the Lord is protecting and providing; we have much to be thankful for. I wish I could get away for a break before this all starts up. I'm blessed by the life God has given me, truly blessed. But, even Jesus escaped to the garden to pray.

And I can't get Mary Kay's voice out of my head. I typed this whole post with her voice in my head. Haha! She's adorable and I am so thankful for her.