Date Your Spouse - Special Needs Edition

Disclaimer: I tend to ramble my thoughts rather than organize them.  Welcome to my brain.

So, I read a blog article by a dad who has a son with Autism Spectrum Disorder.  He talks about how he and his wife (despite having a son who is non-verbal and autistic) still enjoy getting out and doing the things they did when they were younger and how most of their friends (even with typical kids) have turned into fuddy duddies (that's not recognized by spell-check by the way) and rarely get out for a date night.  I am completely torn with this concept.  I totally agree that we need to continue to date our spouses, but having two special needs kiddos complicates things a bit.

First of all, finding someone who can handle two special needs kiddos and a baby...all at once.  I am very thankful that we do have a great friend who will gladly take this on and has dropped everything to come serve us when we've had an emergency (Nick nearly cutting his finger off), and award to receive (Nick aiding in the rescue of flood victims).  But, we have a hard time asking.  Honestly, I can count on two hands the amount of dates Nick and I have had since we've had kids.  That's rather pathetic considering our oldest is now 7.  We do have a babysitting "credit" to use (Nick replaced a car battery for our sweet friend who has rescued us in the past).  I think this is a great way to have baby sitting covered...exchange of services!  Who needs some car work done?  Piano lessons?  You think I'm joking...I'm not!!  I desperately want more time with Nick.  We're a great team, but I feel like we have forgotten what it's like to be in love and to really know each other. 

Something else that bothers me is having to stay local for dates.  Special needs parents are jipped.  Nick and I would love to get away for an entire day and drive alone in the mountains, but we need to be close by (as in staying in our town) for emergencies and to only be gone for a few hours (any longer and we start worrying our baby sitter is going bonkers).  In order for us to be further than local, our sitter needs training on administering Jenna's rescue meds and when to give them...that feels unfair.  Handling an emergency and giving rescue meds is scary!  And then there are Joshua's meltdowns.  He has done pretty well with these lately, thankfully.

So... After getting this all down in writing makes it more abundantly clear that Nick and I need to get out more.  We are tired, worn and ragged.  I miss the sparkle in Nick's eyes and how we use to laugh together.  We still laugh, don't get me wrong, but it's usually a laugh of sheer exhaustion and hysteria.  And let me make this clear... We love our kids.  We are truly blessed and would not change anything.  But we're tired and have forgotten what it's like to "date" each other.  Dating should not end after marriage.  It's a lifetime event we (and everyone else) should work on perfecting.

So if you're a parent of typical children or special needs children... Come up with a plan to date your spouse.  You need it, your spouse needs it and your marriage needs it to survive.  No excuses.  Even if it's out for a cup of coffee...do it.

New LIFE's Resolutions

My friend, Amanda, gave me a new perspective on New Year's Resolutions... New LIFE's Resolutions.  We want to make the change permanent, right?  That is our goal when setting new goals, right?  Well, here are my NLR's:

1.  Improving my relationship with the Lord;
2.  Being a better wife and mother;
3.  Building a healthier lifestyle for our family.

Those seem to be the same ones each year.  My prayer is that I will not falter and will seek the Lord for His strength to see these all come to fruition.  If I can accomplish the first on my list, I know the others will fall into place because this list is also the Lord's desire for my life.  This list is very telling of how previous years have gone.  I have not spent enough time at all with the Lord and my life is evidence of that.  I was going to say that from the outside it may not be evident, but that would just show how much I am in denial.

So what keeps you focused daily on the Lord besides the obvious things that help (reading the Bible, prayer, worship)?  Something I would really like to do is to hand write Bible verses and have them in various places through the house.  That way, no matter my attitude or what is happening during the day, His Words are there right before my eyes.  Which verses help you stay or get back on track? 

Another idea which I received from a Facebook page I follow is having a JOY jar filled with random acts of kindness.  Too often, I get wrapped up in the needs of our own family and forget there is an entire world out there hurting and needing someone to care.  Even the people who seemingly have their lives together need to be told/shown that God cares for and loves them.  This would be a great thing for our entire family to participate in.  I can really see us growing from this.

What are your NLR's?  I'd love to hear them.