quiet time plan of attack!

Strange title for a blog entry, I know. Well, I've declared war! Yeah, you heard me...WAR!! War against the evil plan of the enemy against me and my relationship with my Savior. I'm going to take it day by day and pray about which area of my life needs the most attention at that moment. With the Lord's help, I know this is going to be an exciting journey :) I will be sharing bits and pieces here. I know I posted before about using this blog as a type of accountability. Whoever reads this is going to get to see my insides...muahahahahaha!!!

I had already typed-up an entry on "approval," but it didn't get saved and was deleted :( I will have to track down the sermon/article notes I read earlier today. It had some interesting stuff. Stinky! Maybe that's the Lord's way of telling me that I need to keep working on this study for a while. I guess I will and see what else the Lord has to show me. Oh, and when I say "approval," I mean the need for it and where it should be sought. I tend to need assurance and approval. Not sure why I have such a need for this, but I'm working towards the source of that assurance and approval to only be from the Father. Well, let me re-phrase that... It's okay to receive assurance and approval from man as long as your actions are glorifying the Father and in turn, you are giving Him the glory and praise, but I should only concern myself with the Lord's opinion of me.

Okay, I'm starting to ramble a bit. Sorry if that didn't make much sense, but in my heart and mind, I know what I was talking about :) I feel like I'm back in infancy with the Lord. Not such a bad place to be really, but I feel so vulnerable. Hmmm...

Fell off the wagon...getting back on!

Crazy past couple of weeks!

Thanksgiving was at our house this year. Nick invited his mom and siblings over. I cooked and baked everything but the turkey. This year, we opted for frying a turkey instead of cooking it in the oven. Nick injected the turkey with jalapeno puree! The heat cooks out once fried and all you're left with is juicy goodness :) It was quite a treat! I was so proud of Nick for doing such a great job...proud of myself too :) First time I've ever hosted and everything was so delicious.

Jenna was suppose to have her stoma cauterized this past Monday, but thankfully the cream I have been putting on it has really helped the healing process; a longer Mic-Key button was the only need. My only frustration is the fact they decided cauterizing wasn't necessary after several failed IV attempts. Poor Jenna :( She just cried and cried...it was a lesson learned I suppose. I should've gone with my gut feeling when there wasn't a follow-up appointment after administering the cream. A follow-up appointment would've meant Jenna not having to endure painful needle sticks :( I'm thankful for Jenna's graceful attitude...she goes on loving me anyway despite my errors. Love that little girl.

We are really getting excited about our trip to Tucson! I miss the fun and laughter shared with Nick's dad and step-mom. They are two of my favorite people :) I'm so thankful for such sweet family...they are a blessing. Visits to Tucson always include shopping, late-night card games, jokes, puppies, delicious meals and meeting new people. I think I mentioned before that Allan and Ann haven't met Jenna yet. I can hardly wait :) I just know Jenna will have both grandpa and grandma wrapped around her finger...just like big brother.

The fire is going; Christmas music is playing...what's missing? Our Christmas tree! Perhaps I can talk Nick into climbing into the attic today to retrieve it. I'm really hoping to cash-in on the after Christmas sales this year! Our poor tree is bare and in need of replacing. Last year's decorations were simply white lights. I must admit though, it was much easier than worrying about Joshua eating the candy canes (through the plastic) and stashing ornaments here and there. My mom is sending me her ornaments from when we were all kids. The cutest little stuffed animal ornaments :) I know the kids will have a blast with them. They're old, but sturdy! I look forward to passing them down to the kids one day.

Back to cleaning... Christmas Tea prep tonight :) I will post about that later.

eyes opened

Jenna has been having night terrors the past few weeks. Joshua never had them, so this is a new experience for us. I can only imagine what she's dreaming about...hospitalizations, IV attempts, recoveries, suctioning, finger sticks... Thanks in advance for praying for Jenna to have peaceful rest.



This has really opened my eyes to the urgent need of praying for my children more. It also opened my eyes to the lack of conversing with our Father in general these past couple of week. Thank you Jesus for opening my eyes. I go through seasons in prayer (as most of us do) where I'm so diligent! Trust me friends, when I say I'm praying for you diligently, that's no lie. It's amazing how easily we can slip-out of this essential aspect of our relationship with the Lord. That's when the Enemy makes his move! Watch-out!!



Reading what I just typed above shows me also that I need to work on my ability to form sentences! Goodness... Sorry Mom, I promise you did a good job teaching me ;)



Well, more to come later. I just had to jot that down while it was fresh on my mind.

Church and Bible Study

Nick and I are taking turns going to church while the other stays home with the kids. Gotta keep Jenna away from the germs! Yesterday's lesson really got me excited. Well, they all do, but this one especially. We have been studying Matthew 24. If you're familiar with this chapter, you know that it focuses on end time events. This week, we focused on the fact what scripture states about the end times being as in the days of Noah. I'm not very good at getting my point across, so just go and read it. Read it several times. I always get more out of scripture each time I read the same passage, but more and more jumped-out at me this time. We also talked about Premillenialism and the basis for that belief. Interesting stuff that really got my heart racing!

Today, I went back to my old Bible Study group. They're doing a Louie Giglio video series. Lemme just tell you... this guy is awesome! Totally anointed and blessed with the incredible gift of teaching the Word. He speaks in such a way that even the smallest listener would understand. I enjoyed it and I enjoyed the fellowship. It is a little further than I would like to drive, but I really love those girls and their fellowship. Oh, and of course the food :) This week was chicken tortilla soup and sopapilla cheesecake...YUM-O!! That's not going to help my efforts at the gym, but I guess it is motivation to work harder...kinda ;)

I'm not making much sense, so time to wrap this up. I will make more sense next time :)

P.S.
The spell check didn't know what Premillenialism is...hmmmm.

I just HAVE to share this...

This is my friend Katie's blog. You MUST read this entry, but make sure you use the restroom first. Yes, IT IS that hysterical!

"Why potty training is ruining my life..."

catering isn't for wussies!

Well, lemme just tell ya how sore I am! Oi vey!! I'm so thankful for a job that allows such flexibility. I am an "on call" employee for a catering company. My boss is a dear friend, so it's going to be hard to say "Sorry, can't help you tonight" if/when the time comes.

6 hours and it was really fun :) My back isn't very grateful. I did a lot of lifting and I'm not sure how long this old, broken body can handle it, but I'm going to give it my best shot! My hands are burnt from helping with the dishes, my toes are blistered because my feet got wet, but my heart is happy because I got to serve people in a new way :) Did I mention slipping on the floor and falling on my knee? Ouchie!! For some reason, I always fall on my bad knee...grrrr!! Well, it wouldn't have been a big deal, but I did it in front of all of the patrons. Everyone felt badly for me. I'm sure it was funny...I probably would've laughed had I seen myself from their view!

We were suppose to have dinner guests tonight, but they had to cancel due to having colds. While I'm sad they aren't coming and are under the weather, I'm praising God that I don't have to rush around and clean house! I guess I should still clean though...darn-it!

The window is open and the breeze is blowing the curtains. Jenna thinks it's great :) She's sitting there laughing at them as the brush up against her face and tickle her nose. Sweet moments like this...I wish they would last forever!

funny story about germs

So, I took the kids to the Zoo on Monday. It was too beautiful a day to pass by! I brought a surgical mask for Jenna just in case it was packed, but thankfully it wasn't! I couldn't find my small bottle of hand sanitizer, so I stuff my huge industrial sized bottle into the stroller *hehe* My friend and her little boy joined us; it was a nice get-a-way from the chaos which is my house :)

Okay, to the funny party...

We were leaving the play area and a little boy ran up to Jenna and grabbed her hand. The grandparents of the little guy apologized and I said, "That's okay." I was secretly thinking..."AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" So I did what any other mother in my shoes would do...I instantly globbed some hand sanitizer in my hand and raced to lather Jenna's hands in it. You should've seen the looks I got from those grandparents! I'm sure they were thinking I was a totally paranoid parent...wait...I am *haha* With just cause though :)

Anyway, I guess to any healthy individual, this story isn't that hilarious. But, if you have chronically sick kiddos, you can totally relate :)

Jenna's GI appointment

Well, it could've been worse, but I was praying it was nothing. Jenna's mic-key button has been leaking what I thought was bile since she had H1N1. Her GI doctor, Dr. Sferra, said that when she had H1N1, she developed excess tissue around the stoma (stomach opening around her mic-key button) on the inside of her stomach which is rubbing. The fluid leaking is most likely a blood/bile mixture. He has prescribed Jenna a topical ointment to use over the next 2 weeks to help with inflammation and irritation. On the 30th, the will perform a minor procedure to remove the tissue via cauterization. Ick! She will be sedated to help with nerves and to keep her from moving during the procedure. Dr. Sferra said it is a painless procedure since the tissue does not have any nerve endings. Praise God for that! Sorry for the yucky details, but that's just what you get to hear if you read our blog ;)

this, that and more of the other

Okay family and friends... I seriously need some motivation to keep-up with this blog! Facebook has sucked me in and I'm trying to dedicate more time to blogging.

As I am sitting in front of the computer, Joshua is reading letters off in one of his books. He so wants to learn to read! I think I am going to make some trips to Lakeshore and splurge a bit on some materials for him. **Hmmm...Christmas money! Great idea self!** He knows his letters so well and even sounds some of them out. I'm a proud mommy!

Speaking of Christmas, I already purchased one of Joshua's gifts. He really loves to play with his play food and pretend he's making me a delicious meal, so I bought him an inexpensive play kitchen. Nick would've rather he gotten a play tool bench, but I think he still has time to grow into such a toy. Don't you think? Joshua's also getting his first bike, and a twin size bed for Christmas! My mom bought him some bedding a while back that goes with his bedroom theme, so it will be nice to finally use it!

As many of you know, Jenna had H1N1 last month. Me and a friend went up to Colorado for a relaxing get-a-way at my parents with the kiddos in tow. The first night we were there, Jenna started throwing-up (which she's not suppose to be able to) and developed a nasty fever. I'm so glad I followed my gut and took her into the hospital. My poor mom ended-up driving us at 1:00am. Later that day (after a lengthy ER visit), Jenna was admitted. She developed a fever of 105.3 and her oxygen saturation dropped to 82%! It really set-off some emotional bombs within me...it was like her NICU stay all over again. Thankfully, after some TLC in the hospital, Jenna was released within 5 days. So much for a relaxing get-a-way! I think sometimes I take for granted how sick she really is because she doesn't act like a little girl with so many complications. The only outtings I was taking her on was church and doctor's appointments. I thought I was doing a pretty good job of keeping her away from germs. We go to a very small church and everyone's pretty health conscious...or so I thought. I'm almost certain she picked-up H1N1 at church. She hadn't been to the doctor since the H1N1 outbreak.

Jenna has a GI appointment tomorrow. I'm so thankful! I've been worried about her Mic-Key button. Since she caught H1N1, it has been leaking stomache bile daily. Not only is it gross, but it's irritating her skin. I would keep a barrier between her Mic-Key and her skin, but she doesn't much enjoy that and rips it off each time I try. Too much of a risk...she might pull her Mic-Key out with it.

Now I'm just rambling! My appologies :) I guess this blogging thing is easier than I thought. Sometimes I tend to get on here when I have nothing on the brain, but I know better now.

Oh! One of my good friends, Katrina, introduced me to an iPhone appolication...RedLaser. It's actually an application that takes a scan/picture of bar codes. All you do is hold your phone in front of the desired bar code, it snaps a picture/scans it and submits it into the database. The item you scan is then searched. Guess what it does? It pulls-up a list of locations/stores where you can find the item the cheapest! I'M IN LOVE!! Yay :) I always thought that would be a great invention and somebody did it. Yay for smart people!!

Back to Christmas! We're going to Nick's parents this year :) They have yet to meet little Jenna and I'm so excited! I miss them dearly and really enjoy visiting them. Nick's dad, Allan, is who Joshua got his baby blues from. Thanks dad! Ann, Nick's step-mom, is a riot! She loves the kids and treats us as if we were her own. They run a dog kennel and they always have fun animals to play with. Joshua LOVES it and will really enjoy it now that he's older. I think he was only 1 when we last visited.

Well, this house isn't going to clean itself and Jenna's in need of some snuggling. She had a rough night of sleep last night and woke-up acting a little out of sorts. I will hopefully be back tomorrow! Until next time ;)

great news and other fun stuff

Okay, good news from Jenna's GI doctor. She had an appointment last week and he's pretty certain her liver and spleen are returning to normal size and tenderness! Yes!! Thank you Lord!! We're suppose to hear from Radiology to have an ultrasound to confirm, but I just know that they will find good news to share :-) Jenna also finished her antibiotics for C-DIF. I turned in another stool sample so they can check and make sure it's truly gone. Hopefully news will return quickly!

Another praise... Jenna has switched formulas. Why is this so exciting, you ask? Well, I will tell you :-) With Jenna's previous formula, her bag had to be re-filled every 3 hours. Now, however, with her new formula, she can go for 8 hours! Guess what that means? This tired mama gets to sleep through the night! Yay! Thank you Lord again!! I will now only have to mess with filling her bag every 8 hours which works perfectly with her meds schedule... 12am/8am/4pm. I'm still a little nervous about not checking on her to make sure her extension set hasn't popped loose or to make sure she's not completely entwined in her tube, so Nick's going to check on her when he gets up to get ready for work (5am). I will probably still just automatically wake-up to check on her during the night. An entire year of waking every 3 hours doesn't not become a habit over night :-) Did I say that right? Oh well if I didn't.

We had a fun 4th of July celebration! We always have a good time going to my SIL's parent's house. This year was different though... it rained! It worked out great though. A nice, pouring rain would fall and cool things off and stop long enough to pop some fireworks and then it would repeat. It was nice to not be choking on smoke, that's for sure :-) The kids had a great time. Joshua's not a fan of the noise, but he did seem to enjoy this year more than in the past. Jenna was a trooper. She didn't participate in the fireworks display, but she and her sweet little cousin had matching outfits and enjoyed being inside most of the time away from the noise. Jenna pooped-out at around 9pm... just in time for mama to go outside and see the big display.

I hope and pray you all are doing well. I'm thankful for the many blessing that have come our way recently. However, I am bracing for the enemies inevitable attacks... it seems that the enemy likes to get us when our guard is down and I'm doing my best to hold-up my shield!

Well, I think Jenna is starting to transition from two naps to one nap a day. I've been putting her down at 1pm instead of 11am. She's proving to be a stubborn kid! Darn, I thought I was going to only have one head strong child! Oh well... maybe one of them will be president one day and return this nation to the nation we once were :-) Hey, a momma can dream, can't she?

Last night was my friend's personal shower. She received a ton of cute things and some... well, let's just say that they were interesting and leave it at that ;-) Preparing for the fun night was an all day event. I left the house at 8am with two kids in tow to run some last minute errands before meeting the other hostesses at 10am to start cutting fruit and decorating cup cakes. After a few hours of prep work and much appreciated kid care by one of the fellow hostesses parents, we were off to drop off the food and decorations and get ready for the night. I was able to trade off the kiddos with Nick at around 3pm while I was at a friend's house getting cleaned-up. We went back over to the party destination to finish decorating and make final touches for the party following our 6pm dinner-out at Zio's. It turned-out really adorable. One of the other girls took pictures, so hopefully I will get them sent to me so I can share. We had a watermelon bowl filled with cantaloupe, honeydew, grapes and strawberries; a tray of chocolate dipped strawberries and pineapple; homemade cupcakes; strawberry virgin daiquiris (complete with whipped creme, fresh-cut strawberries, and little umbrellas in very cute cups). The bride's flowers are gerber daisies, so we had them everywhere in cute, little glass vases; the outside/pool area had flower lights and more gerber daisies. It was quite a party...26 in attendance!

Tonight, we're celebrating my grandmother's birthday with my brothers and their families next door. Looking forward to family time! We've had it quite a bit lately and I'm lovin' every minute of it :-) Tomorrow, we're trying a new church. One of my friends from my mom's group is going too; that way, we both know somebody there ;-)

transparency time

Sometimes I wonder if I'm truly fit to be a mother. Joshua is driving me crazy and I just want to strip myself of all responsibility and be alone. Waking every three hours during the night is eating at me too. I wake-up and just totally dread doing everything. Ugh! Maybe I'm just being over emotional because I'm due for a visit by "the monthly visitor." I don't know. I'm just tired and frustrated. I love my kids, but I feel like such a bad mom. Lately, all I do is get onto Joshua. I use to enjoy reading books to him and now I'm lucky to crack one open once during the week. I guess I could be doing that now rather than ranting on my blog, but whatever. Just once, I would like to have a day to myself and not worry that Jenna might not be receiving proper care while I am gone. I hope I'm not scarring my kids for life. I want to be the cool, crafty mom that my SIL and many of my friends are. Instead, I'm just fat, depressed, and completely worn-out. I know it will be helpful to have a church to call home.

jenna update and other stuff

Jenna seems to be doing much better! She's so bubbly and joyful :-) I'm praising God this medicine is doing the trick and pray it stays that way. As we speak, she's spanking herself with a wooden spoon. Hmmm...a form of self-discipline? Too funny.

So, for dinner tonight, we're having smoked chicken breasts, smokes mozzarella, and ranch mashed potatoes infused with mixed veggies. Yummo! I got the mashed potato idea from Rachael Ray. What a great idea! Nick wasn't too thrilled about my decision, but we have to eat healthier and this is one way he has no choice. I bet you he tries to eat around the veggies. I did my best to make sure they were well cooked so most of them would mash into the potatoes. We will see :-)

pictures

Joshua kills me with his gorgeous eyes!

So cute and innocent...

Ladies & Gentlemen, lock-up your daughters!

Jenna's swallow study...she actually enjoyed it!

Quite possibly the cutest picture ever!

Jenna's future is soooo bright...shades are a must!

The youngest of my brother's kids. 2nd place for cutest picture ever!

Bath-time buddies!

My friend Jennifer came for a visit. Joshua was actually falling asleep while she gently stroked his cheek. Neat trick, eh? Learned it from my SIL :-) She's a genius!!

Jenna's 1st swim! Adorable suit compliments of her aunt and cousins :-)

"You're kidding, right?" (baby S again)

jenna update

Jenna's GI Doctor, Thomas Sferra, called today. Jenna does in fact have C-DIFF. She will be taking a very potent antibiotic over the next week (every 6 hours) and then she will be re-evaluated on July 2nd to see if the medication performed its job. I am also giving her acidophilous to help restore the good bacteria which the antibiotic will take away. Thankfully, Jenna is still in good spirits. Her only obvious symptoms are her stool and bloated belly (I have been having to vent her Mic-Key button much more often than normal). Below is some information I read on an informative site about C-DIFF...


Other names that the disease can be known as are:

Clostridium Difficile Colitis, Antibiotic-Associated Colitis, C. Difficile, C. Dif, C.D., A.A.C.D. and C.D.C.

What is Clostridium Difficile - in easy terms to understand?

C - difficile is a bacteria in your intestines. It is found normally in healthy and ill people alike. There are millions, perhaps billions of different types of bacteria in your body. Bacteria are an important part of your health. They help break down and digest food. They also ward off many "bad" or foreign bacteria that you may come in contact with. In fact, the "good" or normal bacteria on your hands can kill certain bad bacteria which you may pick up handling food or touching everyday items and fixtures.

How do I get Clostridium Difficile Colitis or Antibiotic-Associated Colitis?

Your body has lots of "good" and necessary bacteria. It also has some "bad" or dangerous bacteria. Clostridium difficile is a "bad" bacteria. Fortunately, when you are healthy and not taking antibiotics, the millions of good bacteria in your system keep the c - diff under control and in smaller numbers. However, when you take an antibiotic, the levels of good bacteria are reduced down to a smaller number. If your c-diff is strong and doesn't get killed by the antibiotic along with the good bacteria, then it is possible that the c-diff will overpopulate inside your intestine or colon. When this happens, you may get the illness called clostridium difficile colitis. When you have an imbalance of bacteria and c-diff takes over, it creates two main types of toxins that affect your body and give you the symptoms of the actual disease. The toxins attack your intestinal wall and left untreated may cause ulcerations. Your symptoms may include diarrhea and cramping at first. The later stages are commonly flu-like symptoms of weakness, dehydration, fever, nausea, vomiting and in advanced stages - blood in your stool / feces. If a patient is left untreated, they can die from it. This is rare.

more catching-up

About 2 weeks ago, Jenna started having questionable stools. I called her GI doctor after one week and from my description, he feared she could have blood in her stools. We collected a stool sample last week and it was confirmed to have blood, so now we're waiting to hear back on further testing. Sometimes the antibiotics given in the hospital can have this affect...causing a virus called C-DIF. Don't ask me what that stands for or means, I just know it's an icky virus that wreaks havoc on little bodies :-(

Jenna started waving a couple of weeks ago too. It's so sweet! However, she has figured-out that we think it's cute; she uses this to her fullest advantage!! Little stinker :-) She loves to play with my phone, so if she wants it, she does her little wavy and uses the other hand to gently sneak the phone away. Talk about naughty!! Oh, she also now has 4 teeth (2 upstairs, 2 downstairs). I'm curious to see how it affects her eating since the teeth don't line-up due to the cleft. Speaking of eating, Jenna had her swallow study a week ago and passed with flying colors :-) We're just waiting for our GI appointment on July 2nd to find-out what we need to do as far as adjusting her continuous feeds to allow for more room in her tummy, as well as find-out which foods she will best tolerate. I am so thankful to the Lord for this awesome blessing! We actually got to watch her swallow on an x-ray...too cool!! I took some pictures on my phone, so I will do my best to sync them to the computer soon.

Joshua is improving more and more on his speech...putting together long sentences and speaking more clearly. He still likes to jabber, but that is becoming more and more less of a normal occurrence. Poor Joshua is sick right now. He's been throwing-up since about 5pm today and has a temperature of 102.1. We can't keep any fluids down him. Every time he wakes from being asleep for a bit, we try to offer him just a sip, but it only stays down for a few minutes. I'm hoping he's better by morning. I hate having to take him into the doctor...it's definitely not one of his favorite things :-(

Joshua and Jenna take baths together now :-) Jenna loves the company and Joshua thinks Jenna is hilarious! They make little noises back and forth at each other and just laugh as they play with their bath toys. I found a bubble bath that is safe enough to use on a daily basis, so the kids really love playing with bubbles :-)

It has been so hot lately! Joshua has enjoyed playing with his cousins in the water. Jenna doesn't tolerate the heat very well. She turns beat red even in the shade and becomes lethargic. Everyone comments on how pale she is, but we don't have much of a choice right now. I will be glad when Fall arrives because Jenna loves to swing. Nick put together an awesome play center for the kids with two swings and a slide, but we only have one tree offering shade in the mornings. The afternoons it's completely exposed to the sun, but later in the evening, our neighbor's tree offers some comfort.

This post was mostly for family, but perhaps some of you learned something you didn't know :-) I'm going to try and post once a week. Once I have that down as a routine, perhaps I will be adventurous and post twice a week...woo!

ouch

I got a root canal today. I cracked one of my mollars by brushing my teeth of all things! Root canals are NO FUN! Not that I can recall anyone saying otherwise :-)

I promise to upload pictures soon. For some reason I was having difficult doing so the other night. I will try again when my mouth isn't killing me!

pictures

Joshua learned that you're not suppose to eat peanut shells!

Mommy tried to take a picture by herself.

Ah yes, another bath picture.

This picture has received mixed reviews. Well okay, only one person told me they thought it was questionable. Can't a tired mom have some fun?

Joshua was giving some encouraging words to Jenna. She pulled-up in her crib for the first time and he was her cheerleader.

Despite a stressful day full of labs and tests, Jenna had a sweet smile to share.

Princess Bubble Beard! Everyone needs a pirate name :-)

Grinny girl!

My nose may be snotty, but I'm still cute!

Of course I'll pose for the camera!

brownies

So I made some Ghiradelli brownies the other day in an 8x8 pan. There's only one little piece left and it's calling my name. I think Nick's probably had a few pieces. I'm going to resist the urge as long as I can, but I know that when I get-up in the middle of the night to take care of Jenna, it will be there taunting me. So the question is...now, or later?

yeah, yeah

Where do I begin? Yes, it has been forever since I posted and I feel I owe mostly family an explanation because I know you rely on this for updates on Jenna. I apologize. Let me be honest, I have been extremely depressed and sleep-deprived. I've just been too tired to stay-up long enough to post and when I have been up late enough, I just haven't felt like it. There's no way to completely help you understand just how I feel most of the time. If it weren't for my sister-in-law next door, I would most likely be in the loony bin (not joking). No, life's not always so bad, but satan sure knows how to pull me down! Want a list?

Here's where satan attacks me:

• my walk with God
• my marriage
• Jenna's health
• my patience with Joshua
• my family
• my health

There are more ways, but those are the biggies. I started seeing a counselor about a month ago. I'm not sure she's the right one for me, but the price is right (free). I don't see where God is leading right now, but I'm trying to trust Him completely...not quite there. My head is spinning with the daily attacks, but I keep forgetting to look up. However, God is there with reminders that I'm not in this fight alone. Again, my sister-in-law has been such a rock for me...especially lately.

My sister-in-law threw me the most fabulous, surprise 30th birthday party. I'm still speechless. She planned and planned for months. I think the most remarkable part of this is the fact that she has six kids (the youngest not quite 4-months-old) and a husband to care for. This is how it all took place...

The plan was just an intimate gathering...me, my sister-in-law, and one of our mutual friends (who needs to create a blog...ehem...not saying any names, but you know who you are...if you read this that is). I went next door to meet-up for our departure, but there were 2 more faces there I didn't expect to see. I was thrilled because these ladies rock :-) So, we left and the plan was to go downtown and stuff our faces. Well, my sister-in-law appeared a little frantic. She completely missed the turn we were suppose to take which is totally out of character. I should've suspected something at this point, but I'm a total space cadet. Anyway, here we are, a suburban full of crazy women, zooming (and by that I mean flying) down a typically cop-filled area, finally finding our way to our destination. Downtown was especially packed this night...prom, baseball game, yada-yada. Well, my SIL was playing things off very well (which implies that she's an excellent liar...hmmm) as we walked-up to the restaurant (Zio's). The line was almost out the door and it looked like it would be forever before we got to eat. WELL...my SIL just continues to walk past the long line and I'm thinking, "What the heck is she doing?" One of my other friends looks back at me with a puzzled look on her face (another good liar), shrugging her shoulders. Of course I follow rather sheepishly because I didn't know what else to do. Guess what? There was a huge table packed full of some of my most precious friends! I was completely blown away. Balloons, gorgeous flowers (thanks big brother), and lots of smiles and camera flashes. But wait, this isn't even the best part. My SIL arranged a fun "How much do you know Hilary" game, individual delicious cupcakes (which she and the kiddos made), and the most touching, incredible testimony of each of my friends sharing memories of our friendship. Ugh! I'm tearing-up now just thinking about it. I felt so undeserving of such an event, but I'm so honored and grateful...truly. After we enjoyed our dinner, one of my friends brought a delicious cake which we all shared. Some friends were able to stick around. We took some pictures and just goofed around for a bit. I'll post some pictures of the night.

Onto Jenna. Jenna's palate surgery went very, very well. It has been 2 weeks since surgery. 4 more weeks and the stitches should be completely dissolved. A friend of mine bought Jenna a sippy cup with a silicone mouth thingy. All she has to do is chomp down on it and it allows water into your mouth. My friend's daughters both went through the cleft lip and palate surgeries, so she's an experienced mama :-) I'm not sure how much Jenna's actually getting into her mouth, but she really enjoys chewing on the cup! Today, I decided I would experiment with a syringe. She drank about 2 ounces that way. Nick has been experimenting with straws whenever we're out and she seems to like that too. She doesn't suck out of the straw...Nick dips it into the water and creates a vacuum at one of the straw and dribbles it into her mouth. We've tried some softer foods, but she doesn't seem ready for that yet. Hopefully we will get her in for a swallow study soon so we can see just how effectively everything's working. I have to call radiology tomorrow...they were suppose to call me, but that has happened.

I think Jenna's veins must be improving. She was able to have a normal IV during her hospital stay which is far better than having to do her normal pick-line (sp?). She also had to do labs today for a chromosome and hepatic panel (liver function) test and they got her on the first try. This is a huge answer to prayer. I absolutely dread taking her to get labs because they normally have to stick her half a dozen times. We just cry together; poor Joshua gets upset too.

Jenna's 1st birthday was so much fun. The morning of the party was so cold and soggy. Not a very good outlook for her park site party. Well, God moved and made it possible for us to have an indoor party. A sweet couple from a former church called her daughter who owns a gymnasium and she opened-up her entire facility to us...free of charge (I made her accept a donation). What a blessing! I'm still speechless about this event too. So many people came (including Jenna's first NICU buddy, Cooper). We had a huge facility and filled-it up quickly! I think we had about 100 people there (no joke...we handed-out 42 goody bags to the kids old enough to have candy).

Joshua's really talking-up a storm. I still only understand about half of what he says, but he improves daily. My parents came to help us during Jenna's surgery and when they left, and even now, Joshua says, "I want grandpa!" It's so sweet...and sad :-( I wish they were still in Oklahoma. Sometimes, Joshua will say something that will just stun us. My second oldest brother was visiting not long ago and he owns a truck. Joshua walks-up to him and says, "Cory, is that your truck?" It's so cute...his little voice :-) In addition to being extremely cute, Joshua has developed quite an attitude. I fear for my sanity sometimes because I see myself in a padded room in the near future! I think I just need a mommy vacation because if I'm gone for a short period of time (grocery store even), I come home and feel like I've been away from him for such a long time. Nothing's sweeter than his little arms wrapping around my neck and the kisses he generously gives. He's such a kissy boy!

Joshua loves to go out in the yard with Nick, especially recently. Nick put together an impressive play set for Joshua and Jenna. He still needs to add the canopy to the top and assemble a tire swing for the end, but it's finished enough for the kids to enjoy. The slide goes a little fast for Joshua's liking, so he always asks one of us to catch him so he doesn't bump his bottom on the hard ground. I fear we may have a broken arm in the future. He's become very brave and rambunctious! I can't believe he's going to be 3 in a few, short months :-( Ugh! I'm so not ready for him to grow-up, but at the same time, it will be nice when he is able to pick-up his toys! I think it's time to start thinning-out his toy collection. Some toys and books have been passed-down to Jenna, but I don't think she's really going to be into some of the boy stuff he still has. He's really into Thomas the Train, Hot Wheels, play food, and his teddy bears. He's such a cute kid and has a good heart. I hate that I lose patience so easily with him. I know it has a lot to do with my lack of sleep, but it also has much to do with depression and not having a church home. Bleh.

Nick and I have been struggling. We've struggled in the past and worked through things, but this time it has been MUCH more difficult. Please just add us to your prayer list.

I think I'm going to end with that. Good night.

Cute little cousins!

Fun with family after a busy day!

Joshua in front of our peach tree :-)

Joshua and his girlfriend...KayAnna!

Jenna drinking and swallowing for the first time ever!

Jenna loves popcicles!

Joshua "re-bathing"

Joshua playing with toys that are safety hazards!

pictures and video

She's posing! Uh-oh...we have a diva on our hands!

She loves pink :-)

Joshua's saying "cheese" with a mouth full of peanut butter and crackers.
Makes for fun house keeping ;-)

Poor Joshua burned his hand (not shown) on the wood-burning stove before Nick got the kid gate installed. It really wasn't as bad as I had feared. I took him to he ER just to be sure! He was so pooped that we managed to change his clothes and diaper without waking him.

Poor buddy :-(

In order to hear this correctly, you'll need to pause the music player at the very bottom of the browser, so scroll down!

The Mom Song

The Mom Song

Get ready to laugh you butt off!! One of my bloggy friends had this on her page and I just had to share.

check-out this link!!

I plan on posting something nice and long once I've added some pictures and am not so tired, but in the meantime, I wanted to bring your attention to an amazing post by my sweet friend, Crissy. It's a must read!! Click on her name to read it. God has been so good to me by bringing such incredible people into my life. I'm so thankful!!

eye candy

Ms. Grinny Rosey Cheeks

Sleeping Beauty

Jenna and cousin

Joshua's latest scrapes. The one across the nose is from running into lumber and the one next to his eye is from twirling around with a blanket over his head and catching the corner of the futon. Poor kid!

Where's the baby?

paying-off debt

Ahhh!! For me, nothing's sweeter than getting out from under debt. I lose so much sleep at night knowing we owe people money. This morning, I called and payed all of our outstanding hospital and er co-pays (minus one which there is some confusion on). In addition to getting caught-up on medical debt, we were able to bring Nick's student loans current and lower our monthly payment. Yay! Praise the Lord for tax returns and kind phone operators!!

With the money we have leftover, we are working on the future family room and the kitchen. Oh, and we did invest in a Wii. Yeah, seems kinda silly, but even Joshua enjoys getting-in on the action :-) You should see him hoot and holler, jump up and down, and run with excitement. We're hoping to invest in the Wii Fit soon. We played Wii Fit at a friend's house Friday night and I'm still sore! The hula-hoop is super fun :-)

catching-up

Long time no post! Well, there's been a lot of sickness, craziness, happiness, etc. I'll try to fill you in :-)

A couple of weekends ago, we decided to go ahead and experiment with bolus feeding for Jenna. For those of you who have no clue what I'm talking about, bolus feeding is manual feeding through a syringe. We usually have Jenna on a feeding-tube with a continuous feed. We (Nick, me and the doctors) decided we should try to take Jenna off the continuous feeding to see if her glucose levels would handle bolus feeds every 2 hours. Well, much to our dismay, her glucose decreased with each hour :-( So, we put her back on continuous feeds for now. She's still young and just needs more time. She has a lot going on inside that little body and time is something we have. We plan on trying again after she's had her palate surgery. Which brings me to our next subject...

We met with Jenna's Maxillofacial/Oral surgeon today to schedule her palate surgery. Mark your calendars for May 6th and remember to pray for little Jenna. Thankfully, the surgery isn't super evasive and will last about as long as her lip correction (about an hour or so). We're going to have her birthday party on the 2nd so that she can enjoy all of her family and friends :-) It's going to be a big blow-out (or so I'm anticipating).

Nick's working on our extra room (formerly the garage). It will be our main area of family time. The television, games, computer, work-out room will hopefully be done by her palate surgery. My parents will be coming to stay with us and this will be their room :-) It's going to be great! Also, we're going to be doing our kitchen!! Woohoo!! Yes, no more tacky, hunter green linoleum, doorless cabinets, and cramped spacing. I'll post pictures gradually :-)

My SIL had her sweet baby this past Monday (on her due date). All of the kiddos (6) have been born on their due date, minus one. She's so beautiful. Go to her blog and read about the birth story and see the pictures!!

Well, that's it for now. I have a futon full of laundry to do...thanks Nick!!

Tagged

I was tagged by Kimberly @ Empty me of me so I can be filled with YOU to do the following:



THE RULES.



1. go to your documents/pictures

2. go to your 6th file.

3. go to your 6th picture.

4. blog about it.

5. tag 6 people to do the same.

6. smile

This is a picture of my precious Jenna before she had her lip repair. To this day, it remains one of my favorites of her. Even though she's not smiling, her eyes tell her story of struggle and triumph. Such a small baby, but she has gone through more than many adults will in their entire lifetime. I'm so thankful for the support our family has had and continues to have through our incredible support system of church, family, and friends.

I am tagging the following:

My SIL

Karen

Jen

Donna

Tammy

Jenna Update

Jenna had an appointment today with her GI doctor, Dr. Sferra. Some good news, and some bad news...

Good news:

We get to take her off of the feeding bag for 8 hours day! How? Well, instead of a constant drip, Jenna's going to get fed every 2 hours (over a period of 10-15 minutes) through a syringe (still directly into her tummy). I'm excited and scared at the same time. This is progress though. For the first day or so, I will have to check her glucose 1 hour and 2 hours after feeding to make sure her sugar isn't getting low. If she has good number continually, we then get to only check her sugar 1 hour after feeding and as needed. This is going to be so awesome! I can hardly wait to take her somewhere without her tubing attached. I should probably go to a friend's house the first time so I don't make a scene by bawling tears of joy *hehe*

Bad news:

Jenna's liver enzymes came back low on her last lab work-up. We drew more today; we should have the results within a couple of weeks (hopefully). Her enzymes have been low from the very beginning, but the doctors have been hopeful they would gradually improve. Unfortunately, this has not been the case. I chose not to really dig for answers on what would happen if the enzymes come back low again. I'd rather wait and pray until the results come. No sense in stressing and being anxious until then.

Thanks everyone for your continued prayers. We are so blessed to be surrounded by such incredible friends and family :-)

Blog Award

My SIL gave me this award. I'm very touched that she feels I'm deserving of it :-) Thanks sis! I love you!

This award acknowledges the values that every blogger shows in his/her effort to transmit cultural, ethical, literary and personal values every day.

The rules are:

1) Accept the award, post it on your blog together with the name of the person that has granted the award and his or her blog link.

2) Pass the award to other 15 blogs that are worthy of this acknowledgment. Remember to contact each of them to let them know they have been chosen for this award.

I would like to award the following:

Kimberly @ Empty me of me so I can be filled with YOU - you challenge me to be a better servant

Julie @ Contentment Corner - you are such an encouragement

Crissy @ On our way to Liberia - you know my heart

Jen @ Jen's Blog - you're a great mom

Donna @ The Monters - we've been through a lot together

Tammy @ Mrs. Gregory - you challenge me to be a better scholar of the Word

I would've awarded my SIL and Mrs. Troop, but they've both already received the award :-)

Joshua cuteness

Joshua never fails to keep me laughing! He has started coming into whatever room I'm in and saying (rather loudly), "Hi honey!" Nick and I call each other "honey," so I know this is where he learned it. Something else that is funny...he's been calling me "Daddy" lately and forgotten about the word, "Mama." So, I decided I would help him. I sat him down and pointed to myself and said, "Mama." So what does Joshua do? He copies me by pointing to himself and saying, "Mama!" Haha!! I try to help by taking his hand and pointing to me and saying it, so he copies again by taking my hand and pointing to him saying it. I've decided to just remind him who I am when he calls me "Daddy." He's been catching himself from time to time. He never fails to say it correctly when he trips or gets a boo-boo, so at least I know he knows my name when it's urgent :-)

New Year's Eve

New Year's Eve was fun and easy this year. We went next door to my brother's house to spend time with family. We munched on snacks and enjoyed each other's company. The kids started turning into pumpkins shortly after 8, so we went home, put Jenna to bed and let Joshua stay-up to watch a movie with us. He lasted through the previews :-) Nick and I crashed after the movie (10:45). Talk about party poopers! I don't know how we use to do it. Oh yeah...we were younger, thinner, and didn't have kids *haha*

cake and ice cream

my sweet nieces with our cousin

the girls

the boys...being boys

(l to r: cousin, brother, husband)

my SIL is about ready to pop!

Joshua with our cousin