Date Your Spouse - Special Needs Edition

Disclaimer: I tend to ramble my thoughts rather than organize them.  Welcome to my brain.

So, I read a blog article by a dad who has a son with Autism Spectrum Disorder.  He talks about how he and his wife (despite having a son who is non-verbal and autistic) still enjoy getting out and doing the things they did when they were younger and how most of their friends (even with typical kids) have turned into fuddy duddies (that's not recognized by spell-check by the way) and rarely get out for a date night.  I am completely torn with this concept.  I totally agree that we need to continue to date our spouses, but having two special needs kiddos complicates things a bit.

First of all, finding someone who can handle two special needs kiddos and a baby...all at once.  I am very thankful that we do have a great friend who will gladly take this on and has dropped everything to come serve us when we've had an emergency (Nick nearly cutting his finger off), and award to receive (Nick aiding in the rescue of flood victims).  But, we have a hard time asking.  Honestly, I can count on two hands the amount of dates Nick and I have had since we've had kids.  That's rather pathetic considering our oldest is now 7.  We do have a babysitting "credit" to use (Nick replaced a car battery for our sweet friend who has rescued us in the past).  I think this is a great way to have baby sitting covered...exchange of services!  Who needs some car work done?  Piano lessons?  You think I'm joking...I'm not!!  I desperately want more time with Nick.  We're a great team, but I feel like we have forgotten what it's like to be in love and to really know each other. 

Something else that bothers me is having to stay local for dates.  Special needs parents are jipped.  Nick and I would love to get away for an entire day and drive alone in the mountains, but we need to be close by (as in staying in our town) for emergencies and to only be gone for a few hours (any longer and we start worrying our baby sitter is going bonkers).  In order for us to be further than local, our sitter needs training on administering Jenna's rescue meds and when to give them...that feels unfair.  Handling an emergency and giving rescue meds is scary!  And then there are Joshua's meltdowns.  He has done pretty well with these lately, thankfully.

So... After getting this all down in writing makes it more abundantly clear that Nick and I need to get out more.  We are tired, worn and ragged.  I miss the sparkle in Nick's eyes and how we use to laugh together.  We still laugh, don't get me wrong, but it's usually a laugh of sheer exhaustion and hysteria.  And let me make this clear... We love our kids.  We are truly blessed and would not change anything.  But we're tired and have forgotten what it's like to "date" each other.  Dating should not end after marriage.  It's a lifetime event we (and everyone else) should work on perfecting.

So if you're a parent of typical children or special needs children... Come up with a plan to date your spouse.  You need it, your spouse needs it and your marriage needs it to survive.  No excuses.  Even if it's out for a cup of coffee...do it.